My previous article was about the way a home is an “environmental autobiography.”

Let’s look at ways we can alter the story and create something new

Purge the Pain from the Past

We tend to think of decorating as adding things, but one of the best ways to get started on your living-space autobiography is by subtracting—ridding your home of objects that make you feel bad. Peoples houses are often crowded with items that remind them of unhappy events or relationships.

If something in your home evokes guilt or obligation, lose it—including any possession passed onto you without your express desire. (“That horrible cupboard was my grandmother’s,”  “What am I supposed to do, throw it away?” Answer: Yes.) You can also shed decorating habits rooted in early conditioning, many people buy or decorate houses to match their childhood environments. It’s amazing how recreating our past can give a sense of inevitability when in fact we have infinite options.

To see through your own biases, have a friend walk through your house with you. If there’s something you don’t like but aren’t sure how to change, ask the friend for ideas. A different set of eyes might see potential where you see only obstacles.

Honor Your Heritage

As you let go of irritating, depressing or painful mementos, bring in items that reflect pride and joy in your history. Begin weaving new traditions into your house. Add any element that catalyzes a small surge of pride, love, self-esteem, gratitude or confidence.

Honour Your Passions

You can also fill your home with reminders of the things you love doing. If you happen to be a fanatical walker, try decorating with the colors and textures of your favorite natural scenes: earth tones, natural fibers, rocky surfaces. If you’ve spent years designing, frame some cool  drawings.

You’ll get so much pleasure when you commemorate your own best experiences in physical form. Maybe create a corner that reminds you of the wonderful people you’ve encountered and the unforgettable events in which you have participated.

Make It New Again

Life keeps happening: your home should be an ideal spot for the best and most meaningful experiences in your future as well as in your past. Picture the experiences you want (or want more of), and then make your house a place to accommodate them. This is our space own it and create it to be your haven.

Create the settings for the life you want to live, and the jewel will fit easily into place.